Pajalus

Marriage

Marriage may not mean true love

Because true love never does die

Love once gained may never remove

Couple together that dont ever lie

———-

It may expand and it may grow

Changing itself but not to vanish

Saying I love you, just so you know

Making you smile, looks like a garnish

———

Distance between us making it hard

Fonder the heart being far from you

Loving you deeper words like a card

Poems I write you just may be a clue

———

Dont really want to say goodbye

I am scared that this might just die

Whats Fair

You did tear my heart out a year ago

Now you come so sorry into my life

But the words you speak cut me like a knife

Because you say you understand how low

———

I sunk so deep in a black hole so gone

Gone away from reality I knew

Knew our life together all that felt new

New to a change you took out with a bomb

———

I stand up from the ruble, show you scars

Dusting the dirt right off of my shoulder

Our lives are different from here to there

———

My life is better, brighter than the stars

Go ahead and throw another boulder

You broke my heart so ill show you whats fair

BY THE SCRIPT

BY THE SCRIPT

• Successes and failures

make me who I am today,

Other peoples’ behaviors

deciding who i be

• Should I dress like a fool…

or what I want in my mind?

Should I act like a tool…

or should i act oh so kind?

• I want to feel good,

good about myself

If you think i should be,

then try it all yourself

• Acceptance is needed,

understanding just the same,

You really wanna know me

please don’t try to change me

• Live life to the fullest

act it out how you feel

Don’t live it by the script

its the only way to deal

AFTERMATH OF DESTRUCTION

AFTERMATH OF DESTRUCTION

I hear, the boom of the thunderstorm
I see, the crash of the lightning streak
The cries of the children on the floor,
The scene is all too frightening

Close your eyes
And count to ten
Make up lies
And just pretend

Before the rainstorm
Before the thunder’s boom
Before the lightening strikes
Before the aftermath of destruction

The rain pours down
On the foggy window
Shaking, almost to the point of breaking
But, the window stands its ground

The thunder screams out loud
Being sure that it doesn’t go unnoticed
Taking pride in all it can
Scaring those unknown to him

Close your eyes
And count to ten
Make up lies
And just pretend

WHEN THE WORLD ENDS

WHEN THE WORLD ENDS

When time and space
Come together as one,
Then we’ll be in place
To see the very sun

The stars will fall
The moon will come
We will feel so tall
When it all does come
We will have it all
We will have it all

The world might end
But together we’ll be,
Just you and me
When the world does end

When the sun does come
And the moon does fall
The stars don’t shine
But you will be mine

You’ll still be mine
If the stars do fall
And the moon does come
The sun wont shine
We will have it all
We will have it all
If the world does end

PAINTING A SMILE

PAINTING A SMILE

Tigers and dragons
Wild in the core,
Let them be bygones,
That there looks sore

The magic of a look,
Painting a smile on my face
Dust of fairies
I think you must’ve took

You take away my fear,
The fear of being lonely
My heart’s in full gear,
Going everywhere with you

Im ready to go
Ive been set for life
Lets run away
Never looking back

Painting a smile on my face
Going everywhere with you

DISTANCE

DISTANCE

Running around
Flying above
Not making a sound
Surrounded by love

Told you I liked you
You said you loved me
Cant understand why,
Why would you love me

Distance between us
Makes the wait look longer
But the story is sweet
We’ll only last longer

We come with emotions
Causing us commotions
I wanna dance in the hall
Please don’t let me fall

I have made mistakes
That have happened in my past,
But you just seem to take it
Not to care, just say that we’ll last

I seem to run on empty,
Losing all of my control
But when I hear your voice,
My empty goes to full

ADDICTION

ADDICTION

Ive got an addiction;
No, not a drug
Nor alcohol,
Its something much better

Ive gone to rehab
Ive done my time
Time to live again
Again to be just me

Looking at your face
With an all too perfect smile,
Looking at your face
Somehow I just cant get enough

Im trying to figure out
What you are all about
But I lose control
And my heart falls out

Brighten up my days
With words like rays,
None go unheard
Nothing too absurd

You make me yours
I made you mine
Lasting days upon weeks
Months upon years
The story is start
No ending in site

No Doubts

No Doubts

Time does pass
And it gets better,
Time did pass
It only got better

Smile on my face
Laugh from my mouth
Thrill of the chase
Heart falling south

It all makes sense,
Ive come unchained
The key to happiness,
No longer unmanned

I, belong to you
Cause I want to
No doubts I see,
Ive fallen for you

Treat me right
Keep me in sight
This feels so right
No wrongs in sight

THINK

THINKING

I think about you
And want to puke
Not in a bad way
Just in the right way

Butterflies up high
And my heart down low
Wondering if you feel
The feeling I do

Do you think about me
No matter what you do
Do I run through your head
Thinking about what I said

I question your intentions
But get lost in the notions
Lost in the what can be
Forgetting what should be

Its not slowing down
Its not giving up
You say it all right
Not missing a thump

Thinking all night
Am I what you want
Am I who you thought
Do I run through your head
Thinking about what I said

HAUNTED BY OUR SCARS

HAUNTED BY OUR SCARS

Haunted beyond belief
Turn around, your standing there
Haunted beyond belief
Open up my eyes, there you are

You’re like a scar
Permanently staying
Always showing
Just like a scar

I cant get you gone
I cant run away
I cant get you gone
I cant run away

Times must change
Past in the past
Future needs to come
This must change

The things you said
The things you did
Its playing back
Everything we did

Goosebumps and chills
Frozen to the core
Just cant keep still
My hearts still sore

You’re like a scar
Permanently staying
Always showing
Just like a scar

Im haunted by you
Forever and always
Always and forever
Haunted by our past

COME BACK

COME BACK

I guess I really don’t understand
Why you have to leave just yet
I wonder what it feels like
To be right there in your shoes

I call you on the phone now
And say I wanna see you again
You cry right along with me
And say you wish you could

Come back please don’t leave again
Come back hold me as close you can
I need to feel your arms again
Feel your warmth against my chest

Im pushing back tears
Im wiping my eyes

Crying only makes me miss you more
Laughing only makes the flashbacks come
My anger starts to set in
When I cant see or talk to you
Im jealous of your friends
Im upset, I just want you now

PUSH MYSELF

PUSH MYSELF

I hold onto my breath
Just waiting for you to call
I push myself awake
Staying up until 3am

Waiting for you to say:
“I love you babe
I need you babe
I just cant see me
Without you babe”

Im sorry for all the hurt
Im sorry for all the wait
Im terrible, im horrible
I just don’t deserve
someone like you

I hold up my head
And suck up my pride
And tell you im sorry
Sorry for making you feel like crap

You’re the fire that’s burning,
The root to my heart,
The one who runs the engine
To make me love again

I hold onto my breathe
Just waiting for you to call
I push myself awake
Staying up until 3am

SCARED MAMA

SCARED MAMA

You’re three years old
Sicker than you know
So close gone
You don’t even know it

Needles in arm
Needles in your hands
Beeping in the corner
They say its almost over

You’re scared, you want your mama
Put on a happy face
Just so you can go home,
Now she comes in
Comfort starts to set in

You’re scared
You’re shaking
You’re cold
You’re crying
Nothing seems right

It’ll be okay
Noones gonna hurt you,
It’ll be just fine
Noones gonna lose you

She picks you up
You’re asking for your blanket
Shes holding on tight
doesn’t wanna leave you

Momma sits you down,
“baby I love you
Baby you’re strong
I love you
You’re so strong
Just a little longer”

She’s so proud
You’re so strong

You look up at the doctor
Talking to your mother
Nothing making sense
But shes getting sadder

Worry and silence filling up the room
Not a word but the clicking of the pen
Tears from her equal tears from you
Everything will be alright

ISN’T ME

ISN’T ME

Whenever I see you
I hold it all back,
Whenever I see you
I act like nothings wrong

I wonder if its right
If I act how I should
How should I feel
Should it be this tough

Believe me I don’t,
don’t wanna cry
Believe me I don’t,
don’t wanna feel

Pretend to be okay
Pretend to be just fine
Pretend I love you not
Not to let you know

Does it really feel like this
Does it really make me feel
This isn’t right
This isn’t me

Is it alright
To feel this way
Can I open my eyes
Without you being in site
Can I open my eyes
Without tears coming in

This isn’t me
This isn’t right
Does it really make me feel
Does it really feel like this
This isn’t me